L-O-V-E

What do you think about love? Have you ever fell in love before? Have you even been loved by someone that much?

I am, tbh, the kind of person that cant really just believe in love kinda thing. I raised by parents who doesnt (or cannot) show some affection for their children nor each other. Eventho i know that true love is still exist in this world, but i never see or feel it around me. Little did I know about psychology kinda thing is when a child didnt get a proper affection, they tend to feel lonely and empty inside their souls. They might hide their feelings well, but you cant hide anything for the lifetime right? They also tend to seek attention as they grow up. They will looking for someone that can give them what they need the most, which is affection and caring for them. They really want to get attention from people around them, especially the closest one. As long as people around them care for them, they will surely enjoy every little piece of the moment. If you happen to know these kind of people, please consider these condition to them. I might be one of them, but i surely still can handle all these feelings by myself. LoL, i never told this to anyone before, but now i'm kinda need to share my feelings to you guys too. If you happen to read this post and you know me too, just keep it secret keyh?

High School Life Kind of Things

Decided to checking my blog and realized that i still have a promise to tell you my story when i was in 3rd class of shs. So here it is...

The 3rd year of shs, i was so busy to deal with national exam, uprak, and a bunch of tests. On this last year of shs, i was expecting nothing special will happen to my life. But God had another plan for me. This year was fun, exiting, the most hilarious year i had to enjoy. I am beyond grateful and blessed that i got the chance to enjoy my time with wonderful people around me. There is two things that i want to highlight in this story, friendship and love life.

First things first, i wanna talk about friendship. To be honest, i never believe that i would ever have those kind of best friend forever in real life, esp mine! I never found those people yang mau bertukar pikiran, talking about deep thoughts, cerita tentang banyak hal mulai dari A sampai Z, yang nggak cuma banyak cerita pas ketemuan aja tapi juga pas lagi jauh satu sama lain, yang sharing feelings bareng, yang mau ngebelain banget ketika temennya lagi ada masalah. I never find one until now tho. Maybe it was because i rarely had drama on my life? Aku belum pernah menemukan seseorang yang bisa aku sebut sebagai sahabat dengan level setinggi itu. Setiap kali aku ditanya tentang sahabat, i will always think over and over again, apakah dia pantas aku anggap sebagai sahabatku atau mungkin dia hanya sebatas teman dekatku yang ku kenal dalam waktu yang cukup lama aja? Well, i was gonna talking about my past tho, so lets go back to the topic!

Friendship. Di tahun-tahun ini aku punya lebih banyak kenalan dibandingkan dengan sebelumnya. Berhubung kelas 11 dan 12 tidak diacak, alhasil aku semakin mengenal teman-teman sekelasku. Dan di tahun ini juga, aku menjadi semakin jahil di kelas, terutama ke anak lelaki di kelas. Krish misalnya, Farid juga. Sisanya aku lupa. Aku menjadi semakin akrab dengan orang-orang yang tidak pernah ku duga sebelumnya dapat bergaul denganku. Cuz from my pov, they had a higher class than mine. I am beyond grateful that i could get to know these people. They are beyond nice, cheesy, crazy (ahaha) dan terkadang sangat membuatku minder. These always have been on my mind most of all the time, "how can i deal with this people? will they accept me as i am who has tons of flaws?"
And for the first time of my life, i found a friend who has the same hobby with me, which is watching the stars in the night skies and talking to them!! I know I'm a weirdo right. I love stars, moon, galaxy, astronaut, & those kind of things. Wait, what??? Lets go back to the topic (again)! I never have a friend yang kayak di film-film itu lho, yang selalu ada buat temannya dikala temannya butuh, yang care dan perhatian sama temennya, yang selalu jadi tempat curhat buat temennya. Aku nggak pernah punya seseorang yang bener-bener bisa aku jadikan sebagai tempat curhat untuk segala permasalahanku. I rarely talk to my friend about my thing, my problem, my dilemas. I mostly kept it myself because i know nobody ever care about my story, even the one who i get close to maybe never imagined how lonely i am, how fragile i am, and how desperate i am. Wow i'm tearing right now. But yeah, i am still grateful to know them all. They all already have their own places in my heart.

Love life? I might going to tell you one thing only. I found the one who I adore the most, on shs life ofc. He was my classmate. I never imagined that I could fall for him. He has a pure kind heart that can make everyone fall for it (i you are a woman). His heart is super soft that everytime should take a very care of it cause i dont want him to get hurt. Behind all of his flaws, he is really a great person. I always hope that he will always be happy and cherish every moment and have a great day each day. I may have hurt him many times, and im so sorry. I do realize that my ego is still high and sometimes i just cant lower my ego(??). May he has a really good life ahead.

If you happen to read this post and you happen to be mentioned in this post, i am so sorry to mention you guys. But tbh i'm glad to meet and know you guys. Hope you guys have a great day ahead. Love from me. And yes, i miss you guys.

#LemonadeStory

Hey! I'm in the mood to write something on my blog right now haha

When i was in the toilet a couple minutes ago, somehow this thing came across my mind and make me feel want to share it. I dont know why...

#flashback about 6 months ago....back then in August '16.

I still barely remember the story of my cousin's love life with her wife longgg before they got married. He told me that in the 3rd years of their relationship, he begun to feel sooo bored with his relationship because of a couple of reasons. Around that time, his wife started to get angry so easily even on a little stuffs. And he always kena imbasnya kalau dia udah marah-marah macam lagi bulanan.

When my cousins told me about that part, i was going to laugh so hard because somehow it seems funny for me. But then, he continued his story...

"What I'm trying to say," he continued his story, "It was not easy to stay with her at that time but then life made me realize that she is the right girl for me, she is the one. Before we married, I didnt ask her to stay away from other guys because I want her to prove herself that I'm the best one for her. I wanted her to compare me with the other just so she can believe that I am the right one for her. And look, we even have a kid now."

That story, keeps coming to my mind. The little conversation we had when the sun has already set, in a car on our way back home from the beach, with 2 adults, 1 18-years-old-teenager, 2 ABeGe, and 2 kids.

p.s. : I dont know why i choose "LemonadeStory" for the tittle of this post...hmm i was just thinking about those quote sounds like this "When life gives you lemons, make a lemonade!"

and also so sorry for the bad grammar because i'm not an expert teeheee

The Dark Side

Hi, fellas!! I just wanna throw somethin out of my lungs aka curhat tehee.

Jujur aja, gengs, gue paling nggak suka kalo ada orang yang tiba-tiba ngejudge orang lain cuma karena jurusan yang mereka pilih. Gue kasih contoh diri gue sendiri aja kali ya. Gue milih untuk ngelanjutin kuliah di jurusan yang kata orang berhubungan sama kejiwaan *tsaaah*.

SATU TAHUN

Satu tahun lalu, kawan, kita masih terbalut dalam hangat kasih sayang pertemanan. Tak perlu bingung mencari waktu, toh kita masih bisa bertemu. Satu tahun yang lalu, kau dan aku masih duduk di belakang api keraguan mencari bintang yang tepat untuk diraih. Kita berlari mencapai garis akhir impian untuk mengukir masa depan. Tapi, sayang, mungkin kita memang tidak ditakdirkan untuk selalu bersama. Ada kalanya saat aku dan kau harus menempuh cabang yang berbeda yang mungkin nantinya akan dipertemukan lagi di satu persimpangan yang sama. Bertemu lagi untuk melepas rindu akan hangatnya sebuah senyuman. Binar matamu, sayang, yang akan membayar semua peluhku. Betapa cepat masa berlalu. Semoga waktu mempertemukan kita kembali dalam kebahagiaan yang sempurna.

Untukmu, yang ku rindu.

Alya Afani           

Flashback

Pernah nggak sih kalian dengerin lagu trus tiba-tiba ke flashback sesuatu?

Aku kayaknya sering banget kayak gitu. Nih ada beberapa lagu yang suka bikin aku flashback tiba-tiba :

1. Best Mistake by Ariana Grande, lagu ini mengingatkanku waktu ke S'pore beberapa bulan yang lalu. Entah kenapa aku kalau denger lagu itu tiba-tiba inget waktu selama di S'pore-Malaysia. Mungkin karena pas di sana aku sering dengerin lagu ini kali ya(?)

2. Lost Stars by Adam Levine, lagu ini selalu bikin aku flashback waktu aku pernah nyanyiin lagu ini buat temenku gara-gara dia request aku nyanyi itu. Awalnya yang aku nggak hafal, akhirnya terpaksa ngehafalin cepet-cepet deh ahaha

3. Home by Michael Buble, hmm kalau denger lagu ini tiba-tiba flashback pertama kali dinyanyiin sama seseorang pas aku minta dia ngirim vn hehe dan ternyata lagunya enak :D

4. Hmm kayaknya kebanyakan lagunya Ed Sheeran bisa bikin aku flashback deh, kayak Thinkin Out Loud, Tenerife Sea, trus apalagi ya....aku lupa judulnya hehe.

5. Lagunya Greyson Chance yang aku lupa judulnya, setiap aku denger lagunya pasti inget pas di penginapan immersion program dulu di S'pore. Ingetnya pasti yang bagian aku bangun dari tempat tidur ahaha soalnya lagunya aku jadiin alarm:))

Kayaknya sekian dulu aja tulisanku hehe makasih udah mau berkunjung:3

Mendung

Here's another one :p I was so alay back in that time. Ikr:" But i think its fine to post it here;)

Hari ini matahari tidak bersinar terang seperti biasanya. Nampaknya Ia malu menampakkan dirinya. Sama sepertiku. Aku sedang malu menampakkan diriku di hadapan banyak orang. Menampakkan diriku yang sedang bersedih. Hatiku sedang seperti awan-awan ini. Mendung. Bersedih. Sedih karena hari ini aku tak bisa melihatmu. Tak bisa melihat indahnya dirimu. Indahnya senyumanmu. Indahnya makhluk ciptaan Tuhan yang satu itu. Rindu. Mungkin itu kata yang tepat yang dapat menggambarkan bagaimana rasaku saat ini padamu. Rindu ini semakin menjadi-jadi saat aku menuliskan kalimat ini. Seakan ia tahu kalau ia sedang dibicarakan. Seakan ia ingin memperlihatkan dirinya padaku. Aku tahu, semakin aku membicarakan tentangmu, semakin keluar rasa rindu itu. Rasa yang selama ini selalu ku bendung. Rasa yang selama ini tidak ingin ku perlihatkan pada semua orang. Rasa yang selama ini tertahan dalam dadaku.

Sepenggal Cerita Tentang Dirimu

Haii. Jadi kemarin aku baru sadar aku pernah nulis kalimat galau gitu di notes. And now im going to post it lol. Mungkin sekitar satu setengah tahun yang lalu aku bikinnya. So yeah, enjoy it.

Kau, lelaki pertama yang membuatku kecanduan. Layaknya seorang pecandu rokok yang seakan tak bisa bertahan tanpa rokok. Seperti itulah yang ku rasakan saat ini. Rasanya seperti kau sudah menjadi bagian dalam diriku, menjadi penopang hidupku. Apa kau tahu bagaimana rasanya menjalani hidup ini tanpa dirimu? Ya, rasanya sama seperti pasien yang sedang koma dalam jangka waktu yang panjang, yang bertumpu hanya pada peralatan medis untuk bertahan hidup. Seperti itu yang kurasakan jika peralatan medis tersebut dicabut dari tubuh sang pasien. Kau membunuhku.

Ps: maybe its a lil bit alay but yeah i just cant handle myself not to post it on my blog XP

Just Me and My Story

Hello guys! Finally i got time to visit my own blog lol. I want to share a lil bit about my senior high school life since i've been officially graduated from my school.

Senior High School 1 Surabaya

So here i come with a lot of stories. I'll tell you about my first year at this school first. Not much I can tell you about it, cuz lol nothing was really happened. I mean its just me and my friends doing the same things again and over again (doing those school's stuffs like everybody does). I'm a shy person when i'm surrounding by strangers. So all that I can say, in that period, i'm so quite (if only you don't know me well). Oh and I almost forget this, i met my-warmy-cutie-friends here. They're : BUC (stands for Bubble Under the Chair lol. They're so nice, lovely, cute, ah its really nice to know them); Maria aka my deskmate, thanks for everything, good to know you; and then Raissa, the most-gajelas-but-super-ngangenin-and-always-understanding-me-person, the one that i love the most untill now; and the last Santi, the super-cute-girl-that-look-like-a-kid-but-yeah-she's-wayy-older-than-me-tho.

Then, the second year at this school. I think my class is full of famous people. Like....uhm ok you don't have to know. I was like "omg, seriously, I don't think I belong in this class". But yeah now I thank to God, I met my super-duper-luvly-friends in this class. I'm still quite in this class, I mean....yeah several friends told me that they doesn't even know that I was their classmates omg. In this class I met new friends, like TOD Lovers (cuz we really love to play TOD like all the time so we named it for us), Teliotter (we named it cuz we used to go to the toilet most of the time lol), Snowman (i really had no idea why Niko named us Snowman, just like the pen's merk lol). Wuhuu i got a lot of friends, really. I love to spend my time with them.

Ugh, i'm so sleepy now. I'll tell you about my last year at school later ok? I was really had so much fun on that year. So see you another time maybe? Nightynight. xoxo

ps: pardon my grammar lol

Chemistry

Pernah tidak kalian merasa seperti tersengat arus listrik saat melihat mata seseorang yang padahal menurut kalian mereka biasa aja?

Saya pernah nih merasakan yang seperti itu. Dan itu rasanya aneh. Aku terkejut saat merasakan hal itu. Padahal saya tidak menaruh rasa suka pada orang tersebut.

Apa menurut kalian hal itu yang dianggap "Chemistry"?